I apologize it has been awhile again. I am learning about a life more detached from technology....which honestly is kind of nice. I get this feeling I might have technology overload when I get back home. lol. But not having internet at my hands to kill time leaves me a lot of time to create other hobby habits in my life and leaves me time to evalulate my life. jaja. I have been reading more and cross stitching :) It is pretty great.
As I sit in this internet place in Ciudad Vieja, I am greatful to God for how kind and gracious He is. Sometimes the rollercoaster of emotions I feel in a day, week and month leave me wondering how I can feel halfway stable here in Guate...but I do now. About a month ago, I would have given anything to go home and be around my family and friends. I really did not want to be here. But then again that changed from day to day as well and I really did want to be here... mostly because my host family is so kind to me. But in this last month my friends, I can honestly say that although August 1, 2012 will be looked forward to this whole year (the day i fly home), I also now know deep in my heart that leaving this beautiful place will break my heart.
One of the most exciting things God is convincing me of lately is that I really do speak spanish and I have a whole 6 months to continue to dominate it!!! Those of you who really know me, know that I often doubt my abilities when it comes to the things I love most in life. For example, speaking spanish. I LOVE IT, but it has taken me this long to believe that I really can speak it and I only just need to have patience with myself to let come out of my mouth what I really do know and what really does make sense. jaja
Along these same lines about language I have discovered that it takes a lot of initiation on the part of a foreigner to meet people and be bold. The Guatemalan people see me as another foreigner and they have no idea if I will be able to speak back to them and understand them or not. Plus, they already have a community here so it is not necessary for them to try to make a foreign friend who will probably just leave in a short time anyways. This past week I had a couple of experiences that helped me be open with Guatemalans at my work place and it helped them discover that I really can respond back and have a conversation with them. I have now made a few more aquaintices (I cannot spell anymore, p.s.) at CommonHope and I am not a stranger to as many people anymore. This experience is teaching me that is takes time to find a place and build a community of friends in a strange new place.
So my hour here is finishing up and I have barely written what I wanted to..... and I did not bring money enough for another hour at this internet place.....so stay updated in the next few days for "A Day in the Life of Julianne en Guate...." I have been at the school working with kids and it is GREAT!
Love you all and thanks again for your unending prayers and support! They sustain me here.......more than I will ever really understand!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Christmas in Guatemala and a Renewed Hope
I hope you all passed the Christmas season joyfully and that most of all you experienced Jesus and knew Him in a new way. I love the Christmas season. I love reflecting on the birth of our Eternal King. Immanuel, our God is WITH us!
I have to admit that the month of December was probably the biggest sacrifice that I didn't want to give up before I had ever made the final decision to spend a year in a different country. I love this season spent at home with the people dearest to my heart. I love going to the mountains and treking through snow to find the 'perfect' tree and then eating some chili and hot cocoa with marshmallows amidst the company of people dear to my heart. I treasure the years of memories I have of decorating the tree with my family the night we brought the tree home. We spend a couple few hours blabbing and decorating and listening to Christmas music and laughing ...and of course drinking us a delish Tom and Jerry. And Dad always has a beautiful fire roaring on the fireplace to make it even more cozy. This is what I didn't want to miss this year.... but It happened anyways.
So to say the least I was dreading this month. My mind was consumed of the happenings back home...Christmas tree hunting, Christmas stroll, brothers coming home & cousins as well, sitting around the Christmas tree. What is Christmas without my family, I thought.
Well, God taught me more than I will probably understand this month. I experienced what it is like to be loved and accepted by a family not my own this Christmas. People that have taken me in and created a place of belonging for me in a foreign land. Experiencing Christmas in Guatemala was for me...experiencing Jesus in a new way.
Amidst the feelings of complete loneliness and strong aches of missing home this season, God always gave me moments that reminded me...Immanuel, God is with me! A few of these moments...
1) Coming home one night after a 4 day vacation with my group and my host sister embracing me and not letting me go...telling me how much she missed me.
2) Extended host family on Christmas Eve embracing me and saying we love you Juli! Welcome to the family!
3) getting to the point that my host family and I all tease each other.
4) reflecting on the multitudes of people that weren't home with their families for Christmas. I was not alone. I can say that Christmas will never be the same in my heart again. I will not try to take my family and comfort of home for granted. There is always someone missing home during this season.
So what did I do these last 3 weeks of vacation?
1.) Here in Guatemala there is s catholic tradition for the nine days before Christmas called posadas. This word in Spanish translates as 'inn' and it also signifies this Christmas tradition. Every night there is a posada in somebody's house. The idea behind them is that they symbolize Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay, looking for room in the inn to have baby Jesus. I participated in 2 posadas and absolutely adored them! First, we went to the house where they had left the 'nacimiento' the night before. The nacimiento is the mini nativity with candles, on a wooden platform that 2 or 4 people carry on their shoulders. We arrived at the house and somebody would say a prayer. Then everyone bundles up, grabs a candle or a maraca or tambourine, and the nacimiento and heads out on the town to do a procession. People were singing and praying and others would step of their houses as we walked by to pay their respects to Jesus. We walked like 10 blocks and would then end up at a new house or 'inn'. Before we could enter in the new house we had to sing a song, begging for a place to stay and then the people inside would respond and eventually open their house for us to come in. After the nacimiento had been carefully placed we would all sit down and listen to a reflection devotional that someone had prepared. One night we talked about generosity and what that looks like in our lives. After the devotional, the hosts would provide us with a snack like a tamale and ponche ( hot fruit punch with chunks of fruit...DELICIOUS!) these are both traditional Christmas foods in Guate.
These posadas were a beautiful way to be reminded of the story of the coming of our King.
2) Cooked with my host sister for 2 days before Christmas. I learned how to make traditional Guatemalan foods and drinks and most importantly sowed the relationship with my host sister through laughs and time spent just being together. Be warned....I will be cooking Guatemalan food when I arrive back home! :)
3) Spent a couple days at the beach with a friend in my group. That is right...I was soaking in the rays of the blazing sun in the middle of December. Haha. I also spent a day at another beach with my host family and had an absolute blast. Cannot say my face has been this bronzed ever before in the month of December. Haha.
4) most of all this break God has been reminding me that He is my All in All. While reading a book Gracias by Henri Nouwen God spoke to me about my year here. I had begun to wonder why I was here in Guatemala. But I am realizing that i am not here to see the influence I can have on others so I can be proud of myself and I am certainly not here to make huge changes. I am like a child again here...more dependent on others than I have had to be in a pretty long time. I have lost most of the control or the illusion of control I had on my life before. I talk like a child and sometimes don't talk at all, I am served all of my meals, I have no car to drive, I am teaching little kids...an age I don't have a lot of scholarly experience and training with....the list could go on of these scary, inadequacy types of feelings.
Henri Nouwen says, " one of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are." (pg. 17, Gracias).
Yep. I thank God he loves us inherently because He created us and not for the 'Success' of products in our lives. Every day it becomes more clear to me this whole concept of being vs. doing. I think I have been disillusioned that my feelings of success correlate with Gods love. This year in Guatemala is going to start to clear that up...it has already. God loves me for me! Not for my success with a lesson plan, not for how well I kept the kids under control, etc.
I encourage you to join me in this journey....do you let God love you for you? Or do you correlate your feelings of success in a day with how God is loving you? Let us not be disillusioned....we cannot do anything in our strength.
Love you all! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! Primero Dios (if God is willing...a daily saying in Guatemala) I will be home exactly 7 months from today on Aug. 1st. Crazy....:) Have 4 months already gone by?
Julianne
I have to admit that the month of December was probably the biggest sacrifice that I didn't want to give up before I had ever made the final decision to spend a year in a different country. I love this season spent at home with the people dearest to my heart. I love going to the mountains and treking through snow to find the 'perfect' tree and then eating some chili and hot cocoa with marshmallows amidst the company of people dear to my heart. I treasure the years of memories I have of decorating the tree with my family the night we brought the tree home. We spend a couple few hours blabbing and decorating and listening to Christmas music and laughing ...and of course drinking us a delish Tom and Jerry. And Dad always has a beautiful fire roaring on the fireplace to make it even more cozy. This is what I didn't want to miss this year.... but It happened anyways.
So to say the least I was dreading this month. My mind was consumed of the happenings back home...Christmas tree hunting, Christmas stroll, brothers coming home & cousins as well, sitting around the Christmas tree. What is Christmas without my family, I thought.
Well, God taught me more than I will probably understand this month. I experienced what it is like to be loved and accepted by a family not my own this Christmas. People that have taken me in and created a place of belonging for me in a foreign land. Experiencing Christmas in Guatemala was for me...experiencing Jesus in a new way.
Amidst the feelings of complete loneliness and strong aches of missing home this season, God always gave me moments that reminded me...Immanuel, God is with me! A few of these moments...
1) Coming home one night after a 4 day vacation with my group and my host sister embracing me and not letting me go...telling me how much she missed me.
2) Extended host family on Christmas Eve embracing me and saying we love you Juli! Welcome to the family!
3) getting to the point that my host family and I all tease each other.
4) reflecting on the multitudes of people that weren't home with their families for Christmas. I was not alone. I can say that Christmas will never be the same in my heart again. I will not try to take my family and comfort of home for granted. There is always someone missing home during this season.
So what did I do these last 3 weeks of vacation?
1.) Here in Guatemala there is s catholic tradition for the nine days before Christmas called posadas. This word in Spanish translates as 'inn' and it also signifies this Christmas tradition. Every night there is a posada in somebody's house. The idea behind them is that they symbolize Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay, looking for room in the inn to have baby Jesus. I participated in 2 posadas and absolutely adored them! First, we went to the house where they had left the 'nacimiento' the night before. The nacimiento is the mini nativity with candles, on a wooden platform that 2 or 4 people carry on their shoulders. We arrived at the house and somebody would say a prayer. Then everyone bundles up, grabs a candle or a maraca or tambourine, and the nacimiento and heads out on the town to do a procession. People were singing and praying and others would step of their houses as we walked by to pay their respects to Jesus. We walked like 10 blocks and would then end up at a new house or 'inn'. Before we could enter in the new house we had to sing a song, begging for a place to stay and then the people inside would respond and eventually open their house for us to come in. After the nacimiento had been carefully placed we would all sit down and listen to a reflection devotional that someone had prepared. One night we talked about generosity and what that looks like in our lives. After the devotional, the hosts would provide us with a snack like a tamale and ponche ( hot fruit punch with chunks of fruit...DELICIOUS!) these are both traditional Christmas foods in Guate.
These posadas were a beautiful way to be reminded of the story of the coming of our King.
2) Cooked with my host sister for 2 days before Christmas. I learned how to make traditional Guatemalan foods and drinks and most importantly sowed the relationship with my host sister through laughs and time spent just being together. Be warned....I will be cooking Guatemalan food when I arrive back home! :)
3) Spent a couple days at the beach with a friend in my group. That is right...I was soaking in the rays of the blazing sun in the middle of December. Haha. I also spent a day at another beach with my host family and had an absolute blast. Cannot say my face has been this bronzed ever before in the month of December. Haha.
4) most of all this break God has been reminding me that He is my All in All. While reading a book Gracias by Henri Nouwen God spoke to me about my year here. I had begun to wonder why I was here in Guatemala. But I am realizing that i am not here to see the influence I can have on others so I can be proud of myself and I am certainly not here to make huge changes. I am like a child again here...more dependent on others than I have had to be in a pretty long time. I have lost most of the control or the illusion of control I had on my life before. I talk like a child and sometimes don't talk at all, I am served all of my meals, I have no car to drive, I am teaching little kids...an age I don't have a lot of scholarly experience and training with....the list could go on of these scary, inadequacy types of feelings.
Henri Nouwen says, " one of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are." (pg. 17, Gracias).
Yep. I thank God he loves us inherently because He created us and not for the 'Success' of products in our lives. Every day it becomes more clear to me this whole concept of being vs. doing. I think I have been disillusioned that my feelings of success correlate with Gods love. This year in Guatemala is going to start to clear that up...it has already. God loves me for me! Not for my success with a lesson plan, not for how well I kept the kids under control, etc.
I encourage you to join me in this journey....do you let God love you for you? Or do you correlate your feelings of success in a day with how God is loving you? Let us not be disillusioned....we cannot do anything in our strength.
Love you all! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! Primero Dios (if God is willing...a daily saying in Guatemala) I will be home exactly 7 months from today on Aug. 1st. Crazy....:) Have 4 months already gone by?
Julianne
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